I know it is not the 'African way", but sometimes I cringe when I look out of the window and see visitors approach. Some of them have developed reputations for unleashing mad nonsense when they visit.
I grew up in a house with an open door policy. All are welcome. Come in, have a seat, drink some tea. My mother always reminded us to be the best hosts we could be. Being the first daughter in the house, a lot of those hosting duties ultimately fell upon me. I can think of guests whom I love to have around, then there are the others.....
* There is the cousin of Mama nani who came visiting one time and proceeded to establish a secondary residence. She would come and stay up to 3 weeks! She occupied a prime spot in the house, consequently forcing us to move out of our rooms to accommodate subsequent visitors. I hate it when guests overlap!
* Then there was Baba nani who would stretch out on the primary sofa (big cushy one) and then get trigger happy with the remote control. We would be subjected to slide shows of all our favourite programmes until he finally found something he recognised and could enjoy. This was usually along the lines of Professional View or Dunia Wiki Hii.
* There are the countless visitors who we proposed should call ahead and warn us of their time of arrival and culinary preferences. You all know them. These are the ones who wait until the food is on the table and prayers have been said before they unleash their "ndiriaga/sikulangi/I don't eat" list of condiments. Some of the undesirable ingredients are, Roiko, Tea leaves, milk, spices (in all shapes and forms), Blue Band, jam, curry powder, Kimbo etc etc etc.
* I cannot count the ones who chose to arrive in the evening, thus ensuring their overnight stay (pampered and spoiled by dear mother and by extension, her offspring). These ones, if you ask me, are a better breed than the ones who would arrive late morning and proceed to be a nuisance the whole day. Putting their feet up and upsetting the balance (especially during the holidays).
* I have little to say about those ones with the habit of visiting with an entourage of like 8 people. Especially if they then proceed to embrace the traits outlined above. No comment.
* There was Auntie nani who always wanted to know "why can't you be number 1 in school?", another Auntie nani who wished we would pray more and watch less TV, while yet another one who couldn't hide her disapproval at the liberties granted to us by our parents.
Is it just me or does our culture allow ample room for a lot of hospitality abuse? I mean, is it uncultured to expect that guests follow your house rules when they visit? Or that they tell you in advance that they do not eat Kimbo so that you can plan their meals? Was it rude to inquire as to the reasons Mama nani, whom I left at home when I opened school, was still with us when I came home on holiday? And for Mama nani, she didn't think it was weired that her family was visiting her in our house? Surely.
These are not ideas gathered after my stay in the US. Oh no. These are questions my siblings and I have asked our parents since we were teenagers. My parents agree. Some of these practices are annoying at best. They just wouldn't dare change the way things are done.
I would.
12 comments:
wow im first,your regulars are kidding(in the no kidding zone HAHAHA)
now let me introduce you to antie/uncle nani who not only moves in but also becomes both parent and sibling.ill explain.
s/he assumes that when the cat(read parents)is away they automatically assume the role of parent and THINK they can commando gadget you,ooooohh but wait, when the parents are in the zone both of you are asking for poko in the morning like s/he is part of the family.now you as a child in that home your confused be you 6 or 15 or 26.
all the while like proud nye said, youve already been kicked out of your room and your living in the SQ with a wide selection of wildlife for company!
beat that!
I also dread visitors that board...period...juu its like every darn'd hing ur duin' is is under a microscope, alafu the inconviniences aiiih!! Kam mchana, tubonge alafu uniache na Ka-pussi kangu...hihi!!
Ndinyuaga mai...hihi!!>>No kidding!!
...mcmsdtaw
...gvkrqhln
People give me a hard time because I am the type of person who does not answer my door if I am not expecting anyone. I won't even look through the peephole!! It is just the way I am.
Fortunately for us, our suprise guests never stayed overnight!! Usually they came and hung around until my dad showed up and then he would give them money and drop them off in town or whatever!!
@ Anonymous, you are in my prayers. I know the type. Lakini count your blessings. You can retreat in the SQ. Imagine when another Auntie nani comes to my humble abode I have to share a bed with her. 3am comes and goes and she's still giving testimonies. remember jobo is at 8am. RELAZ!
@ Bantuts, I was drinking water when I read your comment. Needless to say It all came out off my nose when I read "ndinyuaga mai" (I dont drink water for those nonsaperes out there). What! How can you assist such a person? Ashidwo!
@ Princess, you have no idea how blessed you are. Ati they never stayed overnight. That's like Marsian talk to me. In my house, even if they only hang around for money, WE the kiddoz had to do the dropping off in town. Of course this leaves room for the oh so common "let's first stop at my friend's house and say hello" move. Washananao!
Uuuuh! I hear you. I have a fear of relatives todate. Inbuilt mechanism to smell them from afar, lock the gate and switch off the doorbell too. There were those who squartered, then you discovered one week down the liine that you have started sharing beds, clothes, combs, toothbrushes...I am depressed.
What a Blog! As hot as a texas bbq!
Keep it up.
I agree with anonymous..this is a great post!!
I recall doing a similar post and how later on for us we began getting a low tolerance of unsolicited guests. I remember this lady who would come and bother my mum time and again, pouring out her probos even though she had her own grown kids who should be able to help her. Needless to say one day she came home and it was me on my own, she had called earlier and I told her my mum was not home. She asked if she could come in, I told her I had to leave the house and left for a pal's place.
I chilled there till evening. The lady had the nerve not to get the hint but wait for my mum who was not at all happy to see her. Needless to say she had come with one way fare so my mum had to hook her up with fare and something extra.
One thing I like about stato is that with the distances someone has to call and ask if they can come over or risk driving miles for nothing.Nice post!
Relas.....ngai fafa....they cn be so annoying. Relas on my side cn decide 2 raid my parents hse not 1,not 2, like 5 of them bila notice. Then they dont even offer to help out in any chores in the hse.
I hate when sme relas come,"Kotanoraga" (u never grow fat). Am the first born n the slimmest n my sisters r quite big...so am always in the limelight.
I only penda my cucu 2 come...wengine....zi!
Am late but wacha i tale you this tale(BTW have you noticed that i always have a tale to tell?)
Auntie so and so walks in WITH a friend, and 3 of her KIDS and all of you get displaced you end up spending 2 weeks sleeping on the couch and having auntie and her friend to boot asking you why you be so SKINNY, why such a tomboy why such ah the list be endless but all of a sudeen daddy and mummy think yes you are too skinny and too much of a tomboy and you start to think up evil plots on how to get rid of the squatters. Plan A scare them to HELL and back **SUCCESS*** Plan B.......;) lets just say never make an enemy of the Don.
Dorcas says yvswk
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