Wedding? First answer these questions.......

1. Must the bride wear a big white dress?
2. Ok, so she did. Why not wear comfortable shoes underneath? We cant see them.
3. Must the hungry children be kept waiting for food like everyone else? Why not feed them quick and put them out of their misery?
4. What is wrong with entertaining said children with a jumping castle or a chubby magician? Maybe a clown? My brother thinks a camel ride would be kinda cool. I think he's onto something.
5. Must all the couples' uncles and aunties be given the mic to give advice? Its the same story over and over again. "Cherish your husband, fend for your wife, carry this kiondo".
6. About that kiondo, auntie Nani cannot see that it is ruining the back of the wedding dress? Auntie Nani!!!!!!!
7. Must the flowergirls have itchy clothes? Anyone who has ever been one knows what that stiff netty mesh giving the pretty material its voluminous look feels like. Ok, should the sun shine, can someone please release the little angels from the bondage of knit stockings and silly gloves?
8. Gloves. Why?
9. Must there be flower girls, and maids, and groomsmen in the first place?
10. Ok, so we have them, why cant the cost of clothes and shoes to dress them be added to the budget? I am yet to find a "maid" giddy to the marrow about the expensive, but unsalvagable outfit they had to pay dearly for.
11. Must the bride and groom hold hands and be attached at the hip throughout the ceremony? I mean, how many times do you get to see all your friends and relatives in one place? Why not take the time to enjoy them?
12. Why can't the wedding dress have pockets?
13. When was the last time you saw a bride in a sweater? Kwani they don't feel cold?
14. Does anyone know the genious who came up with the grand idea that members of the wedding committee must contribute an arm and a leg to sit in the committee? God help that member who also happens to be a "maid". Pole dada. The universe feels your pain.
15. Can you refuse? For real, is it very rude to say "no thanks" when called upon to be in the committee or bridal party? What if you are broke? Or have better things to do with your money? What if its against your religion to spend 9,000 shillings on a hedious purple dress with shiny buttons and zero salvageability potential, can you say so? Can you tell I have a few of these in my closet?
16. What's the deal with the high table getting different (read better) food than the rest of the guests?
17. Is it ok to smack the bride to be for insisting you loose weight to simamia HER wedding?
18. Can we shika her ngeta for demanding that any "maid" with natural hair must perm/relax it for the event?
19. Is it too drastic to spit in her eye, cut her off and throw away her number for suggesting that the "maids" sleep sitted up in arm chairs on the eve of the wedding so as not to mess up their freshly done hair?!?!?!

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 whoosahhhhh...........

Ebu I see how this thing works......

I have never done this before. I have been a bloggers' leech, sucking the life out of other people's blogs for a while now, but I have never actually posted in my own guy. I have even come to the point where I have favourites. Funny ones, serious ones, feminists, male chauvinists, pessimists, optimists and everything in between.

This morning when I got to work I had a lot to say but nobody to say it to. This blog was thus born. I shall spend some quality time here. I can tell. There are forces at work ensuring that I am perpetually vexed, amused, tickled or disappointed by their actions, or lack thereof. Now I must get back to work. Rent is due in a few.