It is with great sorrow (and a heavy heart to boot) that I add a Kenyan brother to my list of crazy miro men. It pains me to say that this chap also takes the cake for shocking behaviour. Here goes...
Exhibit 3.
So on Saturday my roommate and I are chilling at a downtown pub enjoying the music and chatting away when we are joined by some friends. These are the same gals whom I was with when I encountered the Burundi duo that are Exhibit 2. They are accompanied by two chaps. A youngster from some island (looking dashing and delicious, but also barely legal) and another more 'mature' fellow. This one is ours. I have met him once before so I know for sure, but if you saw him you would know too. Fellow looks like he jumped right out of River road.
Anyway, my roommate, who has known him longer than I have, ensures her own safety by speedily reintroducing me as her 'sister-in-law'. Damn she's good! He raises an eyebrow, throws his hands in the air as if in defeat and diverts his attention to Nyeuthi. Crap!
So being the polite one I engage this father of four looking, oversize jacket wearing, 'please stop touching my thighs' fellow in loose conversation. Soon enough it becomes about having another drink, visiting his place and exchanging phone numbers. Naturally, I decline all offers. This is one rough conversation. The chap keeps slapping my back and shoulder like I'm Baba nani his life long buddy. I am thinking I need to save myself from the impending whiplash when the kimonster puts me in a head lock. People! Before I can react to that little assault, he gives me a ngoto! Who the hell gives a mama a ngoto?! People! I was so shocked I froze. Mouth agape, both eyebrows raised, eyes daggerizing the kimonster, froze! What the F***?
Eventually I snap out of it and take my ringing headache, disbelief and wounded spirit a safe distance away. Now there is an awkward silence in the group. Fellow is unaware that he has made a booboo and thinks we are still cool. He wants to resume chatting me up. Kubaff! I opt to dance off my concussion (a ngoto from a pillar of salt is no joke I tell you). Soon enough the night is over and I escape without additional physical injury, just a burning desire to sing Kumbaya.
18 comments:
My dear. Where do you okota these Africans from? Ama it is me who just isnt in the African mix? Seems kibao of the ppl you run into just can't take a hint. I hope you were sans brain damage at the end of the day.
My friend, I have come to the conclusion that I am a magnet for bullcrap in all its forms. What is a girl to do?
Hun i could have sworn i had bad luck but yours aiih ****speechless*** ngoto? i have met those that pat****punch*** you in the back lets just say all of my pinacolada was on my shirt and the top of my head was flying off!!! and then jamma follows with grabbing a napkin till this day i have no idea what it is that i said to the poor fellow(poor coz my pal said she prays never to see me like that again).
I don't even have anee to say!! Just serious kicheko...Ei!! Si u have a knack for amazing specimens...hehehe ati ngoto!! Kumbaya deaaarie...
Dorcas! Currses!! Take 2..
@ Bantuts, Roho safi kabisa, WHO THE **** IS DORCAS?
@ Don_Q, sasa wewe, last I saw of you you were steaming like a hot sembe. I hope the storm is ended. May the games continue...
What made this dude think it was okay to put you in a headlock??? Very strange behavior indeed!! I thought I was the only one who had radar for weird dudes!!
Hahahahaha
ROTFL @ ngotos and makofi ya kilo mgongoni
Those are the same guys that knead a chicks behind with squeegee-like motions during the main thing LOL
hahahahaha
I damn near died!
A ngoto?
Is he serious?
Nothing annoys me more than being oblivious to your weird tendencies
This is hilarious!!!!! "a ngoto from a pillar of salt is no joke I tell you" Totally made my day!
G.O
@Proud am a very mellow person a good cup of coffee some ginger cookies and gods must be crazy is enought cool my sembe.
Btw used to play chobwo(sp) with the boys where if the ball and for all the pervs i mean the football pitad betwix your legs you get chapwad throughtly till you fika or touch something aki some of games funny thing is i miss it, one rule was no hitting watu kwa bitwa(kichwa).
Oh wacha i tell you who dorcas is since BAntu is playing hard to g....;). Dorcas is the word verification of any blog, and right now she says "mloolyl"
@Proud:Now you know...I just might do a post on who she really was...
>>DQ:Heheh! Ati hard to get...its just the money god who's bailed out on me...ati She's decided to go eazzi on fluids...Lakini think am bak..
Take 2...gxpvvq..I think..
Take 3...Forgot to close a tag and Yes I got her this time!
ngoto! Haki lakini i have chekad. I dude thinks a ngoto is flirting?? Where do you pick these people from - oh wait, River Road.
Mhmm - sis-in-law? Wacha i will use that one soon.
@Princess, They follow me everywhere I go. Strange fellows I would rather not know. Lakini that's what being nice does, you end up entertaining the rejects.
@Milionaire, dont give me nightmares.
@Movie buff, chap was mad serious!
@P.Q, so where did the name Dorcas come from? and who decides what she has said? I'm still lost. Saidia masikini!
@ G.O, are you laughing at me or because of me?
@Bantu, you be there!
@Ichiena, unanienjoi?
Pole for the ngoto gal. LOL! But that head lock...salale!! How now?? You should have grabbed him and put him in one, see how he likes it. As Acolyte said, where you okota these men is an X-File all by itself.
Kelitu, these are the days of my life.
okay my dear. allow me to start by thanking you...reading this vibe has made me laugh more than i have in a long time. although i cannot recollect any such atrocities, allow me to say that if you find a man whose mother decided to raise by osmosis, you can find them anywhere. where i'm living now, i have been hit on my anything that uses the gents side of the loos (or not!), including homeless guys! WHAT!!!! where does this guy think we would do it in his cardboard box or in his imagination! (well i'm sure in his mind we've done it several times). so keep that guys name in mind, in other parts of the world minus the WWF (or WWE..whatever it's called now) style behaviour, he may be quite attractive.
Alaa? Who's this wekaing a lady a ngoto? Even you si you should have smacked him a good opuondo ki mchezo?
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