What I have learned so far.

It is a new year so HAPPY NEW YEAR to you all. I hope this one brings you countless goodies and then some (gosh I'm kasumbarized). Anyway, may you all be blessed this year and those to come.

I have been away from home exactly 4 years now. It was this week in 2003 that I hopped on a jet plane and made my way to sunny California. Ati for further studies. I have studied further alright, but most of my learning has happened outside the classroom. Everyday away from home has been like a double lesson in the school of life. Some lessons have been easy, fun even, but most have been tough. Some have been cold and painful, and even though I am glad I managed to salvage a moral from those stories, I wish they hadn't been so harsh. Lakini that's life, and it must go on.

Allow me to share some of the things I have learned so far.

1. A man is a man is a man. It does not matter where he comes from, what colour his skin is, what language he speaks. If he is kind and caring and considerate, good for him. If he is a 'not so good' one, he would have been even if he was born in Masawa, Katichini sub-location, Oyugis division, Rachuonyo district, Nyanza Province. Kenya. I am a believer in the power of nurture over nature, but I also know bad parenting abounds worldwide. The same applies to women.

2. People treat me the way I allow them to treat me. If I am known to take a lot of crap, I will receive a lot of crap. So I feel free to let those around me know that respect for me is a requirement, not a suggestion.

3. No amount of "good life" can ever replace home. Freeways, super malls, nice cars and High Speed Internet are nice to have around. Family, friends, community and perks like 'mahindi choma', 'nyama choma', 'auntie saloon', 'kuku pono', na kadhalika are kidogo cool too.

4. Talking badly about home and its problems does not make them go away, does not help those on the ground and is ill advised since I left my family and friends there.

5. I know a lot of people. Only a handful of those are my true friends. The rest are merely acquaintances that serve the purpose of company and good laughs once in a while. When things are thick, I can only count on myself, my family and those 4 or so people who I can say truly care. This does not make me sad any more. In any case, in the eyes of others, I can only guess where I fall if the same criteria were applied to me.

6. Fast food is an express lane to an early grave. Eating healthy is not rocket science. A fruit, a mboga here and there and spending some time in the kitchen is not as difficult as many make it seem. It's my body, my health.

7. I need to do more exercise. I will try.

8. Sales people, fine print, awards programmes and silly contests all have one thing in common. They want to take my money. I must resist their attempts at all costs.

9. I have a home. I realise that the natives of my current dwelling place do not believe this and think I am here to stay. They have no idea. I came from somewhere. Should I feel weary and in need of some comfort in the form of familiar faces, places and customs, I have memorised the airport code of my desired destination.

10. I have a responsibility to myself and my family. The same applies to my community and even my country. Others worked hard to get me where I am today, I must do the same for somebody else.

11. Maize and corn are two very different crops. I can work with corn for now, but in my ideal world I would have maize. It has more bite.

12. Miros who say "pass me the salsa" do not deserve the kachumbari served to them to accompany their nyama. Those who think it is progressive to call a Chapati a Tortilla should have their passports confiscated.

13. I should spend less time in front of the TV, more time outside the house and no time stroking the egos of people who do not deserve my airtime.

14. Contrary to what many think, engaging in intellectual debate about world affairs is NOT a waste of time. It is good and should be encouraged in all circles.

15. Times have changed. The recent hanging of one Saddam Hussein should be eye opener for all mankind.

16. An accent is only as good as the location its owner. Should the silly mama who keeps commenting about mine visit my home town, SHE would have an accent. When I attend a Genge party, there are no accents. Well, there are those disturbing miros who insist on twenging when they talk to the rest of us. Wisdom is a gift. Not all are bestowed such.